Be My Valentine

February 14th was very surreal this year. Two funerals and a birthday.

Fortunately my daughter decided to celebrate her birthday on Friday so we could attend her festivities. We went out to eat, drank and played an inappropriately hilarious game. It was relaxed and fun. No tears today, just laughter. Happy Birthday #2!

Love was celebrated on Valentine’s Day but that wonderful emotion was surrounded by tears and heartache. The elderly friend who died lived a full, rich life as her family’s memories attest to it. My other friend was taken much too young. She was my age and I loved her, and I love her kids. She was an incredibly strong-willed, kind and loving woman who raised two independent, strong-minded, happy, beautiful daughters. She will be missed by so many people.

Gary & I never did get around to celebrating St. Valentine’s Day for ourselves, although we did fit in a lot of hugs; it’s what I need the most when my heart breaks.

I’m appreciative of what our relationship has become after all these years. For every time we rode out the storm, and there were some intense ones, our marriage became stronger for it. So here is a belated gift to my love…

Reasons Why I Love You

1~ You love me unconditionally…good times and bad.

2~ You love our children unconditionally…you are a very good father to them.

3~ You figure out how to fix what’s broken…and have saved us thousands of dollars.

4~ You make me laugh…that’s quite a turn-on!

5~ The older you get the funnier you’ve become. I’m taking credit for some of that.

6~ I love the almost daily touches and signs of affection we give each other.

7~ You have the same political attitude as me…eliminates a lot of arguments.

8~ We make a great team when we’re working on something together.

9~ I am the Yin to your Yang…we balance each others strengths & weaknesses.

10~ We have an incredible history together.

11~ I don’t just love you, I like you…and way more times than when I don’t.

12~ You treat my family as your own…above and beyond sometimes.

13~ You take the word multiple very seriously…and I thank you for that!

14~ I’m proud of who you’ve become.

15~ You dance with me. I love that I have a willing partner.

16~ I enjoy the times we spend cooking and cleaning together.

17~ We can communicate with just looks.

18~ You stand patiently by me when I’m riding the crazy train having a meltdown and then hug & hold me when it’s over…my safe harbor.

19~ You listen to me and respect me.

20~ And I love that you look at me like I’m still the young thing I once was, when the mirror reminds me that I’m anything but.

Funerals and other parties

I want my funeral to be a big party. After all, I’ll be 103 and I’m pretty sure people will have an easier time with that whole letting go process. My 50 year old blind lover will probably take it the hardest but he’s still young and quite fit so I don’t doubt he’ll find someone else in time. Hmmm, my daughters will be around 70 and their kids will be probably in their 40’s; he could go either direction. That’s kinda gross and a little twisted. Oh well, I’ll be dead, I won’t care.

A bunch of years ago I started planning my funeral party in my head. Just for fun. It revolved around music, food & laughter…and my body over there in the corner for viewing and making snarky comments. Even though I know I will be at my funeral party and probably affect some sort of shenanigans, it made me a little sad that it would just be my spirit. And family & friends that are older than me and a bunch that are younger will already have died.

Sidenote: I’ve had conversations with the funeral director in town and he said it’s never too early to start planning your funeral so if anyone thinks I’m weird for thinking about this, well, I’m not. I’m normal, dammit!

So anyway, when Gary and my 25th wedding anniversary was looming on the horizon my brain also became aware that I would be turning 50 that year (Yay for the Golden Year; break out the bottle of Goldschlager!). If these aren’t two huge reasons not to have a party, I don’t know what is! You may already be dead if you don’t agree. It was at that moment that a huge 3000 watt light bulb went on over my head. My world became crystal clear…I WAS going to be at my funeral party…in the flesh. It would be the perfect trial run (only with a live person, not a dead one…and probably a lot cheaper). We were going to celebrate with family & friends, right now, while we’re all alive!

The party took place and it was wicked good fun! It revolved around music, food & laughter and just like any big party you obsess about and take over a year to plan, it was over in the blink of an eye. The first half of the party celebrated our 25 years of marriage with a loosely-based ceremony & food. The music & dancing was all about me; my birthday gift to myself with family & friends. The funeral party trial run was a grand success and I haven’t done any funeral planning for myself since. I’m glad I was able to party with the people I love…in the flesh. I danced all night until I could barely walk. Good Times! I appreciate all the people who came to my ‘funeral party.’ Thank you!

Our daughters walked us up the ‘aisle’

Our ceremony was way more fun and a lot less serious this time. My sweet eldest sister officiated (she’s ordained on the Internet…how fun is that?!) and we had a ceremony for our girls and gave each of them a Tree of Life pendant

Happy 25th to us!

We started off the dance with an anniversary dance

And then…it was all about me!

Have passport…time to rock & roll!

With the prospect of 3 of my kids leaving the country for study abroad this summer in Mexico, Ireland, Germany & Spain; it became somewhat necessary that I ought to get a passport for myself. While at city hall last Fall, with #3 to apply for her passport, the elderly lady taking care of us highly recommended, “…at least one parent should also have a passport because, well, on the off chance you need to leave quickly to the country your child is in.” Mrs. Elderly Lady was trying to be discreet in her implication but we both knew what she was saying. “Lalalalalalalalalalalalala…I’ve been trying NOT to think about that scenario, thank you very much! How about rephrasing that into something a little more positive, like, “Hey! Now the 10-year passport clock is ticking for you to get your keester to Ireland!” My ancestors have been patiently calling to me since before I can remember, wondering when I’m coming back to the motherland.
So a month before #1 headed off to Mexico I finally applied for my passport; my initial baby step to Ireland.

The day after my Dad’s funeral I received my passport in the mail. How very appropriate, Dad. After all, I did tell him I was going to bring him to Ireland. But by the time he died my heart was numb and my life had changed in a weird discombobulated way. I had already formulated a list of why I wouldn’t be able to go. It was the customary list of ridiculousness that most people have in these scenarios. Enter…my guardian angels; they got the ball rolling again in my head. A couple close goddess friends of mine exchanged all the excuses I had created with reasons of why I had to make the trip. And then my niece entered the picture…

My niece sat across from me by the side of my Dad’s hospital bed when I announced my intentions on taking him to Ireland. The seed was planted and three weeks later she became the catalyst that propelled us to take the leap. She turned into a rabid lioness who stalked me day & night via e-mails, texts & phone calls with plans for going to Ireland. Meanwhile, my SweetPea was paying attention quietly in the background to the drama unfolding. Unbeknownst to him, he was an important key player in my final decision. We don’t tell each other what to do or not to do and that has worked out pretty slick in our many years of marriage. But if he had not been on board with all of this or had not been happy for me…it would’ve been a deal breaker. He’s still able to surprise me with how immeasurable his love is for me.

I’M GOING TO IRELAND!

I’m trying to contain myself by directing my energy on the every day stuff and the rites of passage my kids are making. I’m focused on #1 leaving for Mexico and returning safely home as #4 leaves for her own adventures in Ireland. The excitement of seeing her online pictures makes me a wee bit giddy of what’s to come. In three more weeks #3 heads to Spain and #4 will be in Germany; then the countdown begins for my trip of a lifetime. Not to be outdone, #2 will also be accompanying my niece and me to Ireland. It doesn’t seem real yet. So, along with the wait for my Dad’s death to finally hit home, I will be waiting for the excitement of Ireland to take hold. Somehow it feels like the two will be going hand in hand. And I smile inside at the bittersweet appropriateness of it all.

Naked Yoga is in a holding pattern

Three (or is it four) weeks of empty nest after #3 and her OsoBear moved out. Oso bought a house in the big city that he’s had his eye on for almost a year. This is why they moved in with us in the first place; so he could save his money instead of putting it all into rent. Excited wasn’t a strong enough word for how he felt when he signed the papers. After telling us, he even told Peach the cat how excited he was. Understandable because buying a house is a really big deal! So they’re all settled in and turning the house into a home.

Sunday, #2 daughter & her PoohBear get a call that there was someone interested in their (very expensive) apartment & if they wanted out of their lease early they need to be out by Wednesday (June 30th’s lease date was a long time & a lot of money away). WooHoo!!! I was thrilled to pieces that they could leave early! So the scramble began. Trailers were loaded. Cars & vans packed to the roof (I’m an excellent packer…great spatial perception). Treks up & down basement steps for storage & more again for their living area upstairs. Advil was our friend! Thank god for Pooh’s brother, dad & mom for helping; it goes so much faster with more hands.

Most of Wednesday, #2 & I cleaned the apartment. Top, bottom, inside-out. The lease pretty much stated that it needed to look like a brand new apartment. If there was a surface, we cleaned it…we wanted ALL the money back! I’m so happy they aren’t slobs! Oh yeah, that burned out light bulb we couldn’t find in any store that we had to replace…they have to special order it! Seriously?! (insert any foul language here) Well then, I guess you’ll have to charge us for it huh? What a scam.

Notwithstanding the negative reasons; I’m going to just dwell on the positive.
1) We have the cheapest rent in these parts. Now they too can save some money for more important things! Like #2’s college loan (and Pooh’s when he graduates).
2) I get to see my 2 grandkittens EVERY DAY if I want to. The boys love their grandma!
3) I can go back to only visiting this particular city when I attend functions at my Alma mater or hang out with my girlfriend. Oh Happy Day!
4) Getting a full load of clothes for the washing machine shouldn’t be a problem anymore.
5) I think it’s cool to get a chance with yet another daughter to spend more time with them before they leave ‘for good’ to start a new life.
6) Gary & I will have to put naked yoga in the living room on hold for now…you’re very welcome #2 & Pooh. We can wait.

I think my body has recovered enough to celebrate #3’s birthday today & tomorrow. Happy Birthday #3!!!

Are they ever REALLY gone?!

Happy Birthday Valentine!

For the past couple decades February 14 included candy, hearts & flowers but more importantly it also meant having a birthday cake. Twenty some years ago I was looking forward to the fun of having an April Fools baby. The possibilities on crazy birthday parties were going to be endless. It was also going to be great fun making the birth announcements; I would embellish on the weirdness of it all. But April Fools babies also like to be little tricksters. A week before Christmas I started going into labor (the rest of the story is posted on http://elizabetsyt.com/?p=11). Seven weeks later #2 interrupted my hospital Tupperware party to make a grand entrance seven weeks before her due date. She surprised everyone in the hospital by staying hunkered down inside where she belonged for as long as she did. They called her a miracle…I call it down right stubbornness.
She’s all grown up now and making a life of her own with her boyfriend, Pooh Bear. He got that nickname because he’s dating #2 (let me know if you need that verified). She’s funny (gets that from me), works hard for what she wants, opens up to me more than most kids would, is compassionate and fiercely loyal to those she’s closest to. We have a strong heart connection and I love her to infinity.

Today my own Valentine came home, walked up behind my chair and said, “Close your eyes.” So I closed my eyes, swung around and opened my mouth (food perhaps?). I closed my mouth when I heard the zipper and then a laugh. “Hold out your hands.” When I opened my eyes I was holding a present! Wrapped in heart paper and everything! He even made a homemade card with heartfelt smut sentiments. The kid in me started unwrapping the present but he made me read the card first…typical adult. Red Hot Truffles! I LOVE Red Hot Truffles; they’re so chocolaty delicious & spicy…Mmmm. And not a 6 pack like I was going to get myself but a 15 pack! I’m going to try to eat only 3 a day. Thank goodness I’ll be gone for 4 days so they’ll last longer.
It quite possibly outranks the onyx & jade necklace that I bought for him to give me. I showed him last night what he bought for me and he’s impressed with how well he does getting me stuff I really like…every time! I much prefer our little buying arrangement, especially when it comes to jewelry. My family is under strict orders NEVER to get me something that is shown on the Jeweler commercials. Definitely not me.
So all in all it was a highly successful Valentine’s Day because not only did I get my spicy chocolates…I wasn’t the one who bought them. It’s the little things.

I cried like a baby whenever I heard this song while pregnant with #2

Old people ROCK! (‘n roll…some, only when they get pushed down a hill)

The kids asked us to have a New Year’s Eve party. Not the kid living at home of course; daughters #2 & #4 who are in their own apartments. I’m happy they want to continue the tradition (the real reason…they didn’t have any plans or place to go) but last year when Gary & I went out to party at a bar for the first time in DECADES, I was hoping we were starting a new New Year’s Eve tradition…and it would continue this year. We’ve stayed home on New Year’s Eve since we started having kids. As they grew, so did the party. Eventually, the number of kids overshadowed the number of adults. It was always great fun and was a favorite tradition; lots of friends/family, food, music, games, bonfire & laughter. One year Gary scavenged a big red bubble light that was being thrown away. He saved it from certain demise after being discarded from an old road grader. We turn that light on any chance we get but ALWAYS at midnight on New Year’s Eve. It flashes out of the windows & bounces off the stop signs a block away. It looks very cool!

Our Party Light.

Our Party Light.


So anyway, I agreed…somewhat last minute & reluctantly to make food & have a party. One of these days they won’t want to hang out so much with us because they’ll have their own lives so I might as well enjoy the time given me. The party was mostly 20-somethings with a sprinkling of ‘old’ people. Even my parents showed up and we kept them amused until midnight. You heard me right…Midnight! I believe the ancients were silently pleased with themselves. I told them now they can brag to all their friends that they stayed up really, really late. It was probably one of my mellowest New Year’s Eve. I should’ve known something was amiss when I wasn’t allowed to do a remake of taking my mom to the floor during a rousing game of Spoons; I was the second person taken out of the game with 10 playing. The rest of the night I spent people-watching. It’s fun to observe the younger generation, they are quite amusing. It was also a relief to get to the end of 2012. It was a very difficult year and I have a strong feeling 2013 is going to be spectacularly awesome in all sorts of ways. It’s my lucky year!

Twas the night AFTER Christmas…

I was hoping to post stuff throughout the excitement of our holiday adventure but there weren’t any quiet times. It was a continual blur of activity. All four girls & their guys along with our 5th pretend adopted daughter were here by 3 PM on Christmas Eve and started pitching in to help finish getting the house & the food ready & ornaments on the tree. Two of the kids had never seen National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation so that was a priority on my list. Of course the kids are still sort of kids (if you compare them to an 80 yr-old) so they wanted to open gifts and do Yankee Swap first.

From the front, she looked like a normal Christmas tree.

From the front, she looked like a normal Christmas tree.

Anytime Christmas tree lights are added...it becomes magical, especially at night with Christmas music playing!

Anytime Christmas tree lights are added…it becomes magical, especially at night with Christmas music playing!

Dressed up in all her sparkling finery, it's almost like she's taking a bow to her admirers.

Dressed up in all her sparkling finery, it’s almost like she’s taking a bow to her admirers.

Our tree's empty space is being 'filled' by a talking Santa & a large star I received as a gift. We envisioned a large disco ball there but, surprisingly, we don't own one! Our living room screams for a disco ball.

Our tree’s empty space is being ‘filled’ by a talking Santa & a large star I received as a gift. We envisioned a large disco ball there but, surprisingly, we don’t own one! Our living room screams for a disco ball.


Gary & the kids got the cool stuff they asked for but more importantly, let’s talk about what I got! I got my winter boots & Cuddleduds but can you believe Santa forgot to bring me snow pants?! I’ve wanted them since last winter and I cannot believe, with all his magic, that he forgot them. I guess he was too busy concentrating on the boots & long underwear. I also got a Tree of Friendship glass ball, a bunch of warm cuddly socks, lots & lots of headbands (I shouldn’t run out for…forever!), a huge bag of pecans, a jar of raw honey, a magnifying glass & along with some DVD’s from the family pile…Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure! (to go along with the classic Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special that we already own) Gifts from the kids include a big kickass LED TV from daughter #1 (now the lights won’t dim like they did when we turned on the big old ginormous one!), a gift certificate from the delicious Teavana store & a wine accessory kit secretly hidden from burglars inside a pretend wine bottle from #2 & her PoohBear, a Charoite stone & a gift certificate from a goddessey new-age store I adore from #3 & her OsoBear, #4 & her new sweetpea gave me a DVD & a 10 pk outdoor solar light set for when we get around to making the far-far back yard look pretty this summer (*crossing my fingers*). On Christmas day everyone slept in except me because I was determined to make breakfast recipes off my Pinterest boards; Apple Cider Pancakes & Bacon in the shape of hearts (don’t bake them crispy because they break REALLY easy!). They were obviously delicious! Our final adventure before all of the kids were gone for work or significant others’ family celebrations was sledding down the town’s snow hill. (This is where those snow pants would have come in handy) Elizabeth wasn’t too keen on going but Betsy & Tebazilena were already bundling into snow gear so she didn’t have a choice.
Snow Tube 'Island' Adventure! The trick is to make sure you hang on tight to another tube (as well as your own). We try putting the youngest in the back so they have a better survival rate in case there is a tubing mishap.

Snow Tube ‘Island’ Adventure! The trick is to make sure you hang on tight to another tube (as well as your own). We try putting the youngest in the back so they have a better survival rate in case there is a tubing mishap.

It was GREAT FUN!!! We assembled all the tubes into a mass island, hung on to each other’s handles & inched our way to the top of the hill and…….adults just need to do that at least ONCE in their lifetime. It really brings out the kid in you!
Sometimes the 'island' becomes a 'peninsula!' At least we're all in the same general area. Looks like someone lost their mitten in the adventure!

Sometimes the ‘island’ becomes a ‘peninsula!’ At least we’re all in the same general area. Looks like someone lost their mitten in the adventure!

It was a great Christmas! We should be relaxing now but #2 & #4 informed us that we need to have a New Year’s Eve party here. Why? Because THEY don’t have anything planned to celebrate. I guess we need to enjoy having the kids spend time back home while we’re all young.

I wouldn’t make a very good kidnapper…

This is a continuation from my previous post http://elizabetsyt.com/?p=11. It’s 7 weeks’ worth of demands while laying bed-bound in the hospital. May the force be with you if you can get through the entire thing. You should probably make a bowl of popcorn and get something strong to drink. I was sober when I wrote it but that doesn’t mean you have to be when you read it. I think I got better with the demands the longer I was there…probably the insanity taking hold. Hope you enjoy it!

Here is the infamous List of Demands!

1~ Bedpan should have the bottom brushed off before it’s brought to me so as not to leave any dirt under my delicate gluteus maximus.

2~ Milkshakes should be thick enough to just make it up the straw.

3~ My chart should be discreetly left on my monitor machine.

4~ Schedules of all nurses shall be posted along with their name, age and food dishes they prepare that are of gourmet standards.

5~ Nobody is allowed to call me by my initials unless they smell Lysol coming out from underneath the door.

6~ “Princess” is no longer an acceptable name when referring to me (it’s too prissy). You may now call me Queen Elizabeth, The Supreme Goddess, Exalted One or Head Wench.

7~ My scalp should be massaged at least 5 minutes during my shampoos. A manicure would be nice too.

8~ It’s time I get designer Garfield Band-Aids to cover all these holes you keep poking in me. These flesh-colored ones are unbefitting.

9~ No one’s allowed to make remarks about my snoring (which I have a hard time believing that I do) unless they refer to it as having a pleasant, sort of lyrical quality.

10~ I’d like to hear a happy tune sung (or hummed) whenever any hospital personnel walks past my door (even the mucky-mucks).

11~ There will be no more excessive use of tape on the hairy parts of my arm when you change my IV site. Laughing (or smirking) while pulling the old tape off my arm will no longer be tolerated!

12~ The kitchen shall be informed that my salads have too much H2O in the bottom of the dish. They should be drained right before it’s brought to me, or they can hand dry the lettuce (lightly patted).

13~ Once every two weeks I want a male stripper to perform outside my open door. I prefer Arab Sheiks or Men in Uniform (cop) and I prefer creamy Kraft or Heinz Horseradish Sauce instead of whipped cream.

14~ The Queen (Me) is always right!! …and I always win at Atari (and similar) games.

15~ I want music from the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s piped in during the daylight hours and Classical piped in (from outside my door) during my snooze hours. No Jazz or Twangy Country Western stuff.

16~ Every other morning (preferably Odd Days) I would like the area between my toes cleaned with a solution of rose water & lotion using a Q-tip swab.

17~ Every night I want a foot massage done on the bottom of my feet with Oil of Olay because they’re starting to look Old and unsightly.

18~ As a treat for me, from all the abuse & neglect I receive from you little ‘nurse maids,’ I deserve to have someone come in every night before bedtime to give me a facial so as to protect my porcelain skin from this dreadfully dry hospital air.

19~ I would like special permission from Joe to allow Puppy Chow to visit me at least once a week. I mean she is part of the family! Our 1st born.

20~ This is the most important demand!! Whenever my Love Slave (you know him as Gary) comes for a visit, I would like a double bed brought in (satin sheets are optional) so we can play pretend husband & wife. We would of course just lay there & look at the ceiling and talk about non-sexual things like bills, the upcoming property tax and baby diapers & vomit. Around 10-15 candles lit around the room and some romantic music piped under the door would be a nice touch too!

21~ The Queen is served her food first! No one is allowed to eat anything that smells delicious (or even yummy) until then.

22~ I would like a fresh flower placed in my room every morning before I wake up. If you have to take it from someone else’s bouquet, then so be it.

23~ Only blue-green colored secondary IV needles are allowed in my arm.

24~ I want permission from Physical Therapy (or whoever can get it for me) to have scented Bubble Baths in the Hubbard Tank on Monday, Wednesdays & Fridays for at least ½ hour.

25~ All doctors shall show the utmost respect for the nurses who have dedicated their lives to me. A salute (or bow) as they pass my door would be nice too!

26~ Stay out of my underwear closet you perverts. I know that you sneak a peak in my locker and then tell me you were getting supplies out of the other 2 lockers. I can see through walls you know.

27~ I would like someone to check out the hospital supply stores and see if any of them carry Aqua colored (or any other snazzy color) bedpans, pitcher & emesis basin (completed) to brighten up my room. This geeky gold has got to go. Its color is unbecoming to a person of my ‘station in life.’

28~ Whenever it gets boring on ‘my’ floor just give me a call and I’ll ‘buzz’ out songs on my call light. We’ll see who can guess the song first.

29~ Whenever I have guests visiting, I would like a tray of hors d’oeuvres and beverages served in my room. I would prefer it if the nursemaids serving us would wear a white hat, apron & spiked heels. A French accent would be a nice touch too.

30~ When #1 daughter comes for a visit I would like a babysitting schedule made up using a few nurses on duty back here (as long as I know them and their S.S. number, home address, fingerprint on file and a front and side photo). We only need a ½ hour service which would pay 25¢.

31~ I think I deserve to be the 1st patient to get talked about at the change of shift meetings. I also want you to talk loud enough so I can hear you in my room.

32~ I don’t want any more grief from you wenches the next time I tell you I’m going to have the baby. When I say I want to deliver the baby now, I mean NOW! There will be no more excuses or dilly-dallying around when I ask you to call Mary to come and deliver the baby. I also want it delivered at 7 or 9 P.M.

33~ Any person carrying a lab tray filled with needles & test tubes is not allowed in my room without written permission from Dr. Mary. If you don’t have an extremely good reason, take your demonic, vampire needs to another room.

34~ No more nightly visits from the graveyard shift to drip greasy food stains on my sheets & hospital gown. I’m very careful when I eat so I know the stains aren’t mine! Beware you Pig Monsters, I might wake up next time!

35~ There will be no more IV’s stuck in my finger or wrist. (that really hurts) I don’t want to hear about the IV’s you stick in people’s feet! That’s sick!

36~ I need a remote control camera placed outside my door so I can see down the halls and locate the ‘disappearing’ nurses who duck out of my view. It would be much more entertaining than the T.V. shows.

37~ I need blackmail pictures of Dr. Mary eating dessert or junk food. Any knowledge of her eating habits (esp. the dates, places and junk food eaten) would be greatly appreciated!

38~ To all nurses who don’t work in labor dept: You’re supposed to come running when I ring my bell, not laugh at it! Watch the labor nurses if you have any questions to the procedure.

39~ When I’m watching you with the binoculars you have to talk slower because I can’t read lips yet. Enunciate your words carefully. Thanks.

40~ This is a Free Demand! Because I’m so awfully sweet and mild mannered, I’ve decided that you can have a ‘vacation’ on every 40th demand. Now doesn’t that make you feel warm all over and even more respectful towards me?!! Lovingly, Your Resident Mommy Dearest

41~ TO SANDY~ Because I’ve been here so long I feel I deserve to have my very own private nurse instead of throwing me into the throng of other mothers.

42~ I want my room to be roped off with a red velvet cord so people can view me in a more awed atmosphere.

43~ There is to be a private viewing of Bednobs & Broomsticks for all hospital personnel that were depraved deprived as children.

44~ I want my very own hospital nametag that reads “The Queen Mother.”

45~ You may take turns singing to our baby. Suggestions are “Irish Lullabye,” all 4 verses to “Rock-a-bye Baby” and the infamous family “Bye-O” song (my mom can teach you).

46~ There’s still time for all of you to become normal like me! Call me for an appointment ~ I’m cheap (literally or figuratively-it’s up to you).

47~ When I’m gone I want my room made into a shrine. When it becomes part of the nursery I want it named “The Queen Mother Nursery.”

48~ Now that you have delivered 2 children of Royal Blood, I think you should change the Nurse/Baby picture in the nurse’s station to one featuring #1 & #2 along with me, their Royal Mother.

49~ I demand that all of you take a bow and give yourself a big kiss from the Queen for all the great things you’ve done for me and my sanity (I really am normal!!).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are either an incredible person or just incredibly bored with life today. Kudos to you for taking the time to read this entire list! I think you should treat yourself to something spectacular…like a nap or a spoonful of spicy peanut butter with chocolate chips sprinkled on top!
Here’s a picture of the frog mentioned in post: http://elizabetsyt.com/im-more-fun-than-the-queen-across-the-pond/

Frog Prince for the Queen

Frog Prince for the Queen

I’m more fun than the Queen across the pond!

Just an FYI…I also answer to Queen Elizabeth. It’s not another personality, just a title. I also answer to Goddess but that’s another story. It all started when I spent 2 months in the hospital trying to keep daughter #2 inside me. A week before Christmas (she was due April 1st) I was admitted to the hospital because my cervix was opening and the bag was bulging out. I found out later that the staff & my doctor figured I’d lose the baby so it was very beneficial that I stubbornly refused to believe anything bad was going to happen. Not once did it cross my mind that he/she wasn’t going to make it. Yay for persistent stubbornness! I started requesting stuff mainly to be goofy, to amuse myself because I had nothing better to do and because I have a wicked sense of humor. The nurses started a list to post on my door and each day I’d add another ‘demand.’ Queen Elizabeth was born!

I grew quite close to my nurses & doctor subjects and eventually worked my way up to special requests from the kitchen, getting a horizontal perm (this is not code for anything kinky…ahahaha, kinky, get it? Perm? Sorry, had to chuckle), a gurney trip down to the gift shop (saw a big stuffed frog with a crown that was later given to me by the nurses & my doctor) & a Tupperware party in my room which coincided with finally going into labor & delivering #2…who I eventually did have to burp (a little Tupperware humor). I’ll have to find the list & post it. I’m curious again as to what I had on it.

Update: I found the list and the frog. The list was posted on my December 14th post. http://elizabetsyt.com/i-wouldnt-make-a-very-good-kidnapper/ Here’s my gift of the frog prince:

Frog Prince for the Queen

Frog Prince for the Queen