And yet, I still love her!
I understand that change is necessary. Sometimes the change brings relief and sometimes it just plain sucks getting through it. There are all sorts of quotes out there that apply the concept and remind us that usually the end results are in our favor. I agree, even if all that ever happens is relief, that the pain is over and done with. There have been quite a few times that it’s been months or years before I can make sense of what I experienced and the lessons I learned from it. There is always something to be learned or be grateful for.
The past couple years have been a lengthy lesson to the point that I’m just getting worn down from it all. I’ve learned a LOT about myself from it! Lately, I’ve consulted the Universe, my dog, the cats, Tarot cards, my dead relatives, the dust particles floating in the sunlight streaming in my living room by asking, “SERIOUSLY…what more am I supposed to be learning from all of this?!” Nobody’s gotten back to me yet, go figure. Thank god I’m stubborn in my own special way; it’s what’s going to get me through to normalcy again. I told Gary that this must be the female version of a mid-life crisis. I’ve always assumed only guys go through that mid-life crap…as it should be. He had some philosophical insights on my dilemma which all kind of made sense but it didn’t make it miraculously go away.
So. While I wait
impatiently for the next lesson to magically appear (has anyone seen my freakin’ fairy godmother with her god-damn wand?), I’m going to:
1. Concentrate on honing my energy healing. I’ll be working on anyone/anything that moves. It’s too valuable of a skill to not put my heart & soul back into it. It’ll help balance me too…bonus!
2. Finish the stuff that needs to get done in the house.
3. Continue to have fun wherever I can find it!
4. Love myself unconditionally!
I don’t plan on life’s lessons ever ending. I’m always learning new things about myself and trying to change the things I don’t like or at least keep them in check. It’s kind of what makes life rather exciting (just not right now); knowing I’ll never have all the answers until I hit the hay for the last time.
Life sucks sometimes so we can appreciate the good times even more