I received the ultimate compliment from a teacher the other day. She said she wished she could spend more time around me because I’m always smiling and ‘spreading cheer’ throughout the school. I told her that even if I’m having a bad day, the kind you wish you could spend in a dark room under the covers, it always turns around when I’m at school with the kids & staff because there’s so much positive energy here. It’s great therapy!
One example happened this week Tuesday. I was with my first group of kids, 8:10 in the morning. Before we got started on their reading work I chatted with them about their Easter weekend. I questioned them if they knew that candy has sugar in it and that, blech-gross, they shouldn’t eat it. The reaction I get from the kids is always entertaining. The conversation worked its way around to age and I asked them, “Well, how old do you think I am?” The first boy, “Somewhere in your 30’s.” Second boy agreed, “Yeah, you’re in your 30’s.” The third boy must’ve noticed my eyebrows rise & the smirk in the corner of my mouth, “You’re 40.” The last kid and only girl said, “I think you’re 36.”
I told them what any
old sane woman would say, “I LOVE you guys! I love each and every one of you and if I had candy I would give it to you!” (Yeah, I know, sugar is poison…blah, blah, blah). Then I told them that I was really 53. *insert dead silence & the sound of crickets* I wish my eyes could take pictures; it was a Kodak moment. The shocked look in their eyes & their open mouths seemed to say, “And, and you’re still alive?!” The girl was the first to speak, “You don’t look that old at all!” Which I replied, “And YOU are my favorite!”
I love working with the kids; I love the interactions with the staff. I love my job.
And then I have to go home.
And deal with responsibilities in life that just aren’t fun; stuff that’s emotionally draining.
And during a moment last night of just letting some of the emotion out through my tears, the Universe (via my favorite radio station) reminds me…
…to carry on.
We all have hard-hitting crap happen in our life that tests us. I remind myself that some people have it so much worse than what I’m experiencing. It doesn’t make my problems go away but it does make me think of all that I’m grateful for. I like my life. I especially love having fun & laughing so I do it every chance I get; it balances out the sad times where you just have to take a lot of deep breaths, cry (to wash away the toxic chemicals) and carry on…which I believe most of us do very well given the circumstances.
And that’s why I seem to be happy all the time to some people. I’m not always happy…but the alternative isn’t nearly as fun.