And then He* said, “You’re the tightest person I’ve ever had!”

Elizabeth had a big smile on her face and was all, “WooHoo,”** and giving the thumbs up sign. She would have start chanting “We’re number one! We’re number one!” if Tebazilena hadn’t knocked her on the side of the head, “Listen up numb-nut that is NOT a good thing!” Even Betsy, who momentarily had a smug smile about our being in some sort of ‘elite’ group, had to admit that when a massage therapist is overly impressed with your tightness, you did not win first prize. The only thing I won was a chance to help pay off a bunch more of her* bills and maybe some nice shoes with a matching purse. In the amount of time it may take for her to get my muscles all loosey-goosey again…maybe a trip to a tropical isle.
I tend to store my emotions on my left side which coinkadinky*** is the female side of the body. I asked Gary which side of his body do the muscles hurt more? What a surprise…the right. Every week SheRa P.o.P. has to rework my neck & upper back trying to get ahead of whatever it is I keep storing there. I have a lot more meditating to do to let go of my emotional baggage. Interestingly, my body is a mirror image to my house…a lot of stuff; ironic that I’m trying to downsize both.
One comment that SheRa says which makes us all quite proud is, “You pink up really nice!” In the massage world this means that my blood has good circulation. “WooHoo!” I’ll take whatever compliment I can knowing what wretched condition my muscles are in.

Okay, fast forward a few weeks from when I started writing this post.

SheRa has now moved from my upper bod and started working on the lower back mess. “You’ve got a tight ass!” “Why…thank you very much! I don’t normally let other people feel my ass.” Elizabeth does 3 backflips and is beaming with pride. Tebazilena started to remind us again that this isn’t a compli~Elizabeth slapped a muzzle on her before she could say it. Betsy asked, “Could you make it cute and perky like when we were 20?” “I’m not a miracle worker.” Well, actually she is but gravity seems to be the stronger villain here. On the upside, at least she didn’t say I WAS a tight ass. Having a tight ass sounds way better! And then she laughed at the irony that I’m naked on her table but wearing my socks (I was having a hot flash & she uncovered my feet). What can I say; my feet seem to always be cold & we like our snuggly socks. We talk about the coolest stuff!

*I was messing with you (my massage therapist, who is a woman, suggested I say he instead of she); I will call her SheRa, Princess of Power because she has incredible hands (& probably feet although I haven’t had her walk on me yet) and is very skillful with getting my muscles to do as they’re told.
** Cool words that spell-checker doesn’t know. It wanted me to replace WooHoo with Boohoo. Excuse me but that would mean the OPPOSITE of what I’m trying to convey. I should work with the word people and open their eyes up to all the words they’re missing out on. They must be boring people.
***Spell-checker didn’t even know what to do with this one. LOL, it’s probably still scratching its head.

I should lend her this CD. It would either soothe some of her clientele or freak ’em out.