SheRa found my secret hiding spot

Posted on March 15, 2013 by Elizabeth

And now I’m even more appreciative of my massage therapist.
I’m starting to think I’m a walking, talking guitar string; my muscles seem to be tight everywhere. I know my massage therapist is making huge progress just by how I feel but it also seems like 3 steps forward…one step backward. My unresolved emotions seem to think that my muscles are their personal storage facility. Maybe if I start charging rent they’ll stop this madness!
SheRa walked all over me on one of my visits. It was my first time and it was really cool! The broadness of her feet and the weight of her body really gave my scapula’s a run for their money. They’re supposed to move…they didn’t; now they do! Even though she can’t dig into spots like her fingers can, her feet found muscles in my legs that made me stop talking so I could breathe through the pain.
We have a number system for pain level. She backs off when it gets to an 8 although there are a few times when I just breathe through it because I want that muscle to get back to normal. And that is what happened when she inadvertently found…my secrets spot.
My next session with SheRa was back to using her hands. She started working on the muscles under & around my arm pit and they were incredibly tight and sore. SheRa’s response, “OMG, what are you hiding under here?” Betsy & Elizabeth were concentrating on relaxing the muscle in question. Out of nowhere Tebazilena said, “My secrets. The stuff I don’t tell anyone.” And then my eyes started leaking. SheRa noticed and asked me a couple questions. I don’t even remember what she asked or what I answered but then the damn broke & I was crying a LOT!
And now SheRa knows my secrets. Everything came tumbling out and then…calm. I’ve noticed over the last couple weeks that it’s gotten easier to deal with/release the emotions involved with my secrets. I’m able to see them in a different light. It’s a great feeling! So now my incredible massage therapist is also my therapist. She has done wonders for my physical AND mental body. I’m thankful that she doesn’t charge for both!
Who knew? We have a place on our bodies that we store our secrets. Those tricksy* armpits! I think next time I shave we’re going to have a little talk.
*how can tricksy not be a word?

Gonna Give all my Secrets Away

Welcome to…my Twilight Zone

Posted on March 7, 2013 by Elizabeth

I talk a lot.
Not all the time, sometimes I’m actually quiet, but for the most part I like talking.

I had a number of people comment on Facebook that my posts were fun to read but more like blog posts because they were so long (It was a happy day when Facebook stopped limiting how many characters a status post could be). A blog seemed a lot easier than the supposed book the Universe has planned for me to write. So, I read Blogging for Dummies, consulted a blogger friend, and procrastinated because somehow blogging felt more like a commitment & I wanted to do it ‘properly.’ With the well wishes of my Facebook community I started a blog. The safety of my Facebook family to the world wide web of Blogdom without a safety net. It’s been a few months now since I started. And, well, it feels as though I’ve entered…the twilight zone.

It’s a totally different world out here in Blogdom. In Facebook land, it’s kind of like sitting in a living room and friends pop in to hang out and talk. Conversations sometimes banter back & forth as if you are actually with each other. I’ve had some hilarious interactions even when comments are written hours or days apart.
In Blogdom, I’m still Queen Elizabeth of my domain (blog humor) but I feel as though the comfy living room couch is sitting in the middle of the vastness of space. Hello…Hello…Hello. Is anybody out there?!…Is anybody out there?!…Is anybody out there?!

I’ve decided to set up my living room on the Milky Way because there are lots of lights and it’s pretty…pretty darn quiet (I made sure it wasn’t near a black hole. Those bastards will literally suck you up and not spit you out). Betsy wanted to run back to the sanctuary of Facebook and the camaraderie of friends. Elizabeth & T have discussed the melancholy of our experience so far and decided we’re staying put. It’s harder to be funny on command with the expectation that you ‘should’ post every 3 days. It’s hard to post humor when life just isn’t funny sometimes. Blogging is not what we thought it would be so we’re rethinking how we view it.

We’re letting go of the instant gratification that Facebook can be. Instead, we’ll assume it’ll just be the 3 of us discussing life, and if some manner of ‘wild life’ happens in…all the merrier! Tebazilena wants to change the setting to an ancient forest clearing. She likes being grounded (not for being naughty…that’s Elizabeth’s forte). Elizabeth’s stringing white lights in the trees and Betsy’s in charge of refreshments. We’ve downsized the party to a smaller, more intimate level…for now. This change shouldn’t be too difficult. I’ve entertained myself my whole life; I’m usually easily amused!
At least I seem to be ‘popular’ enough to get picked up by a Chinese spam site. We’re about as excited of that as we are with the Made in China stickers on virtually every bloody thing sold.

And then He* said, “You’re the tightest person I’ve ever had!”

Posted on February 7, 2013 by Elizabeth

Elizabeth had a big smile on her face and was all, “WooHoo,”** and giving the thumbs up sign. She would have start chanting “We’re number one! We’re number one!” if Tebazilena hadn’t knocked her on the side of the head, “Listen up numb-nut that is NOT a good thing!” Even Betsy, who momentarily had a smug smile about our being in some sort of ‘elite’ group, had to admit that when a massage therapist is overly impressed with your tightness, you did not win first prize. The only thing I won was a chance to help pay off a bunch more of her* bills and maybe some nice shoes with a matching purse. In the amount of time it may take for her to get my muscles all loosey-goosey again…maybe a trip to a tropical isle.
I tend to store my emotions on my left side which coinkadinky*** is the female side of the body. I asked Gary which side of his body do the muscles hurt more? What a surprise…the right. Every week SheRa P.o.P. has to rework my neck & upper back trying to get ahead of whatever it is I keep storing there. I have a lot more meditating to do to let go of my emotional baggage. Interestingly, my body is a mirror image to my house…a lot of stuff; ironic that I’m trying to downsize both.
One comment that SheRa says which makes us all quite proud is, “You pink up really nice!” In the massage world this means that my blood has good circulation. “WooHoo!” I’ll take whatever compliment I can knowing what wretched condition my muscles are in.

Okay, fast forward a few weeks from when I started writing this post.

SheRa has now moved from my upper bod and started working on the lower back mess. “You’ve got a tight ass!” “Why…thank you very much! I don’t normally let other people feel my ass.” Elizabeth does 3 backflips and is beaming with pride. Tebazilena started to remind us again that this isn’t a ~~compli~~~Elizabeth slapped a muzzle on her before she could say it. Betsy asked, “Could you make it cute and perky like when we were 20?” “I’m not a miracle worker.” Well, actually she is but gravity seems to be the stronger villain here. On the upside, at least she didn’t say I WAS a tight ass. Having a tight ass sounds way better! And then she laughed at the irony that I’m naked on her table but wearing my socks (I was having a hot flash & she uncovered my feet). What can I say; my feet seem to always be cold & we like our snuggly socks. We talk about the coolest stuff!

*I was messing with you (my massage therapist, who is a woman, suggested I say he instead of she); I will call her SheRa, Princess of Power because she has incredible hands (& probably feet although I haven’t had her walk on me yet) and is very skillful with getting my muscles to do as they’re told.
** Cool words that spell-checker doesn’t know. It wanted me to replace WooHoo with Boohoo. Excuse me but that would mean the OPPOSITE of what I’m trying to convey. I should work with the word people and open their eyes up to all the words they’re missing out on. They must be boring people.
***Spell-checker didn’t even know what to do with this one. LOL, it’s probably still scratching its head.

I should lend her this CD. It would either soothe some of her clientele or freak ’em out.

In reality…1 day = 4 days…and that’s basic fact

Posted on January 17, 2013 by Elizabeth

Monday~I’m applying for a job that requires a resume; a requirement that is sooo incredibly outside my comfort zone. I put on my big girl panties…and it’s still difficult…and nerve wracking. I would’ve liked to hire this out to someone else but Tebazilena is convinced we can get through this with our sanity intact. Oh yeah, I also want it done by today. I want to get the jump on all the other applicants. I’m planning on me being the only applicant but sometimes my wants and reality don’t jive as expected. Betsy decided, ~~years~~ decades ago, we would only work at a place that DID NOT require a resume. That would be all fine and dandy if it were rational but we really want this job.
Tuesday~Sending my resume out to different people for feedback. So much for getting it done in one day but I want it to look professional.
Wednesday~Okay, I’m done with the resume and now I need a cover letter. Arrrgh! I can’t just whip these things out like I’m sure some people can. I have to research, which I think may be driving #3 daughter a little crazy. She thinks I should not be so anal about it and mellow out. LOL, it’s almost like she doesn’t know me after all these years. It’s been quite a few decades since the days I needed a resume. The rules have changed…probably a couple times. Words that got you the job 10+ years ago are now curse words that send your application to the shredder. I think the organization I’m going to work for is more people friendly and less cut-throat but I’m not taking any chances.
Thursday~Okay, now it’s another day later and the organization will have my cover letter and resume today. I’d like to get all nervous about the upcoming interview but I’m going to try doing the opposite. Just be me, let the Universe handle the rest and let go. On second thought, maybe I’ll just do a little research on a few things and save all that other cosmic stuff for the actual interview. I’m already imagining BEING in this job. I already know which mug I’m bringing for my coffee, having a supply of my own coffee in the fridge, which driving route I’m taking, walking to Music in the Park during lunch this summer, being so awesome that my part-time status becomes full time w/benefits before the end of the year. Ahhh, it’s fun living in my brain when we’re all in agreement!

Sugar, Sugar…You Are My Candy Girl & You Got Me Wanting You

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Elizabeth

I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I can’t eat sugar…probably ever. I lose the weight…I start eating sugar & bread…I gain the weight back. I lose the weight (a little less each time)…I start eating sugar & bread…I gain the weight back…etc.,etc.,etc. I don’t even want to figure out how often I’ve fallen off my horse (she’s a really large Clydesdale named Teensy Weensy). She used to run off indefinitely. Now she waits patiently next to me until I can get the ladder out and climb back on. This time she was gone a long time; I think she was trying to teach me a lesson. Lesson learned! It took me a long time to write my resolutions post (1/05/13) because the 3 of us were trying to figure out a way to keep some foods ‘safe’ from the chopping block because they were considered healthy. Chocolate won by a landslide (Elizabeth has a way with words!).

That was a light bulb moment for me. Carb addiction is no different than alcoholism, smoking or drug addiction. Well, there is one difference. Your body doesn’t need alcohol, cigarettes or drugs (& sugar, contrary to some people’s belief) to survive. Food, that’s a different story. You do have to eat. You have to make food choices every day! Try giving up junk food, sugar, bread or alcohol and find out how few of places there are that are safe. In no way am I trying to say one addiction is more difficult than another. What I am saying is that sugar IS an addiction. So when well-meaning friends tell me that it’s not good to totally give it up; to eat a small piece of something sweet and then not have any more, I started telling them, “Would you say that to an alcoholic?” I CAN’T EAT JUST ONE! It slowly (& sometimes not so slowly) snowballs into a feeding frenzy I can’t stop until I make myself sick. I’m envious of those of you that can eat sweets and stop after a few pieces or only eat some and decide you don’t want the rest. I can actually do that with alcohol. I enjoy beer, scotch & wine but I can either say no altogether or not finish a drink because my body just decides I don’t want it anymore; especially if I’m full from food.
About the same time I decided not to label myself a carb-addict, I realized that if I want to really be healthy long term I have to go against societies norm of ‘don’t deny yourself totally or you’ll want it even more.’ LOL, seriously? I want it more as soon as I start eating it! And pretty soon all I can think about is my next fix. This blog post came to me very last minute because I was reading an article that explains really well how some of us literally can’t eat just one. How many of you have a problem staying away from something you ache for but can’t have? Here’s the article (it won’t let me link it so you’ll have to copy & paste): http://athleanx.com/for-women/spike-crash-and-burn-how-even-a-little-sugar-could-be-sabotaging-your-weight-loss-and-workouts

Meet The 3 Musketeers~spicier than the originals!

Posted on January 7, 2013 by Elizabeth

Over the years I’ve had people ask what the difference is between the 3 personalities, “Who am I talking to now?” Before I get into their characteristics I should put in some disclaimers. Well, first of all, they’re all playfully certifiable so they’re kept locked up in my brain. They pick the lock frequently and wander aimlessly in my thoughts. I’m pretty sure one of them came from another dimension. They are intrigued & amused by the smallest of things. They drive me insane & keep me sane. I love them all because they make me…me. I’m going to blame my parental units for their initial upbringing because I was very impressionable in my early years. That’s right M & D, when you shake your head at my antics…I’ll just remind you who raised me! Here is the secret key to my whimsical world…

Lucky 13…and me!

Posted on January 5, 2013 by Elizabeth

My 13 ‘resolutions’ that ~~I’m pretty sure~~ ~~I’m positive~~ I will absolutely do this year! At least I’m going to try harder than I usually do. After all, I’ve still got 360 days left! This year we’re going to do the same stuff we’ve been working on up to now but put a positive spin on how we think/say it. There’s a little bit of ~~arguing~~ lively discussion going on in my head over what we need to get rid of & what 13 things go on the list. Tebazilena has stopped talking & that’s never a good thing. She has the master list of what all of us know we want to be doing & she’s getting tired of all the bullshit. I think we all need a time out………….in real time that was 24 hours. Here is our (compromised version) of anti-resolutions:
1. ~~Learn/do something new~~=Keep adding spice to my life…in my food & otherwise!
2. ~~Stop being a carb addict~~=Never refer to myself as an addict ever again (of anything)!
3. ~~Break the unhealthy carb cycle~~=Eat real foods that actually nourish my amazing goddess temple.
4. ~~Do yoga every day~~=Do yoga one day a week (& then: do yoga one more day a week).
5. ~~Unclutter the house~~=Every day put something in the Give Away box, recycle or throw away.
Continue changing the negative to the positive:
6. ~~It’s time to grow up~~=I will always encourage the kid inside me to play. Never stop playing!
7. ~~I screwed up, I wish I hadn’t done that!~~=I learned something really important today!
8. ~~I wish things were different~~=Live in the here & now!
Always remember:
9. Every day I wake up is a new day to start over.
10. Be grateful every day for at least one thing.
11. Less is more…freedom, time, energy, health.
12. You can laugh or you can cry. Laugh every chance you get!
13. Be true to myself…nobody else can do it like I can!
So, basically, we’re continuing on the same quest as previous years but with a different philosophy on some of the issues. I do really well at times and then something crappy happens & I have to find my footing all over again. Life is definitely like a roller coaster. I love the feeling in my stomach when it gets to the top and then drops down; everything is fun & exhilarating on the ride down! But then life socks you in the gut with gravity and it’s an uphill climb to the top again. Even the best laid plans get side tracked…or derailed. I’ll never forget the time I went with the girls on a trip to an amusement park. We rode roller coasters all day long. By nighttime I had such a headache from my brain being banged against my skull…probably not a good thing for brains in general. Sometimes life hurts like that but I’m still glad I keep getting back on the ride. I’m working on embracing the down times as the part of life that they are and just keep taking deep breathes until they pass on to more fun times. Just like when I rub my Buddha belly and say, “I love you too roly-poly pod of tummy fat.” It helps if you can feel the love too so I just pretend that it’s a baby in a front pack carrier. I’m kind of looking forward to this ‘baby’ leaving the nest this year…permanently. But I still love you!

P.S. I also have a good roller coaster analogy for the major depression I went through in my 30’s but it’s kind of depressing so I’ll probably save it for the book.

If my life was a game right now it would be called

Posted on December 28, 2012 by Elizabeth

Strip & Go Naked! I’ve been having hot flashes since I was 31. When a nurse told me that I was too young to get hot flashes I laughed to myself. Oh really?! Then why is heat rolling off of me like a smelting furnace? Granted they were few and very far between and very doable as far as intensity & duration goes. They’ve accelerated slowly as I strolled my way through my 40’s and entered my 50’s. The last 3 years the night sweats started, still…not a major problem. Not at all like the horror stories I’ve heard that other women were having; poor women & their crazy sweatiness! Well, in the last 5 months my hormones have cranked up the thermostat and are blazing like an inferno that could start a brush fire. One recent day at school I was totally bundled up in winter wear heading outside onto the frigid, windy playground; whining because I forgot to put my Cuddleduds on under my slacks that morning.

Not 3 minutes later a 500˚ wave of heat rolled off of me and was trapped inside all my warm, protective gear. In less than 10 seconds I had my hood down, scarf & ear muffs ripped off, wool mittens torn off, zipper undone from my coat, zipper undone from my sweater and facing my body into the relief of the winter wind. Ahhhhhhh, sweet relief! After about 3 minutes when the sweat had sufficiently evaporated from most of my body I resumed dressing myself again because it was really cold out!

I can’t wear the snuggly sweaters I love so much because I need to be able to strip down when an inferno rolls off me and then be able to add warmth back on because I’m cold again. Same goes for sleeping even though the heat vent is closed & the window is cracked open. I’m pretty sure the lack of a good sound sleep will affect me eventually. Fortunately, all 3 of us are taking it in stride…that whole strip & go naked & then getting dressed again. How long before I break is anyone’s guess. I’m sure I’ll let you all know when I no longer find humor in this. Until then I’m heating the house with my hot flashes!

Twas the night AFTER Christmas…

Posted on December 26, 2012 by Elizabeth

I was hoping to post stuff throughout the excitement of our holiday adventure but there weren’t any quiet times. It was a continual blur of activity. All four girls & their guys along with our 5th pretend adopted daughter were here by 3 PM on Christmas Eve and started pitching in to help finish getting the house & the food ready & ornaments on the tree. Two of the kids had never seen National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation so that was a priority on my list. Of course the kids are still sort of kids (if you compare them to an 80 yr-old) so they wanted to open gifts and do Yankee Swap first.

From the front, she looked like a normal Christmas tree.

Anytime Christmas tree lights are added…it becomes magical, especially at night with Christmas music playing!

Dressed up in all her sparkling finery, it’s almost like she’s taking a bow to her admirers.

Our tree’s empty space is being ‘filled’ by a talking Santa & a large star I received as a gift. We envisioned a large disco ball there but, surprisingly, we don’t own one! Our living room screams for a disco ball.

Gary & the kids got the cool stuff they asked for but more importantly, let’s talk about what I got! I got my winter boots & Cuddleduds but can you believe Santa forgot to bring me snow pants?! I’ve wanted them since last winter and I cannot believe, with all his magic, that he forgot them. I guess he was too busy concentrating on the boots & long underwear. I also got a Tree of Friendship glass ball, a bunch of warm cuddly socks, lots & lots of headbands (I shouldn’t run out for…forever!), a huge bag of pecans, a jar of raw honey, a magnifying glass & along with some DVD’s from the family pile…Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure! (to go along with the classic Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special that we already own) Gifts from the kids include a big kickass LED TV from daughter #1 (now the lights won’t dim like they did when we turned on the big old ginormous one!), a gift certificate from the delicious Teavana store & a wine accessory kit secretly hidden from burglars inside a pretend wine bottle from #2 & her PoohBear, a Charoite stone & a gift certificate from a goddessey new-age store I adore from #3 & her OsoBear, #4 & her new sweetpea gave me a DVD & a 10 pk outdoor solar light set for when we get around to making the far-far back yard look pretty this summer (*crossing my fingers*). On Christmas day everyone slept in except me because I was determined to make breakfast recipes off my Pinterest boards; Apple Cider Pancakes & Bacon in the shape of hearts (don’t bake them crispy because they break REALLY easy!). They were obviously delicious! Our final adventure before all of the kids were gone for work or significant others’ family celebrations was sledding down the town’s snow hill. (This is where those snow pants would have come in handy) Elizabeth wasn’t too keen on going but Betsy & Tebazilena were already bundling into snow gear so she didn’t have a choice.

Snow Tube ‘Island’ Adventure! The trick is to make sure you hang on tight to another tube (as well as your own). We try putting the youngest in the back so they have a better survival rate in case there is a tubing mishap.

It was GREAT FUN!!! We assembled all the tubes into a mass island, hung on to each other’s handles & inched our way to the top of the hill and…….adults just need to do that at least ONCE in their lifetime. It really brings out the kid in you!

Sometimes the ‘island’ becomes a ‘peninsula!’ At least we’re all in the same general area. Looks like someone lost their mitten in the adventure!

It was a great Christmas! We should be relaxing now but #2 & #4 informed us that we need to have a New Year’s Eve party here. Why? Because THEY don’t have anything planned to celebrate. I guess we need to enjoy having the kids spend time back home while we’re all young.

It’s all Fun & Games until the Panic Attack!

Posted on December 12, 2012 by Elizabeth

I’m not sure if you can avoid stress around the holidays, even when you attempt to downscale. I wanted to be part of OneEarth-OneVoice on the 21st and help put out healing vibes to the world but there isn’t any group doing it in our neck of the woods; seems to be happening online only. So it seemed a good idea to invite the other 3 people in town who seem interested and do it at my place. Then Betsy reminded us that we talked about having an End-of-the-world-as-we-know-it party which is on the same day so we should open it up and have a big party. The 3rd voice, T, has since started panicking (she doesn’t care for parties…we KNOW, we don’t understand either!) because, “1. The House Isn’t Clean By My (or Anyone else’s) Standards!!! 2. We JUST started decorating (which causes its own mess). 3. We would have to provide some sort of hors d’oeuvre & refreshments. 4. We still have to get presents wrapped & food ready for our Thank-God-in-Heaven, First-Time-Alone-As-A-Family Christmas! What the hell are you guys thinking?!” “Jeez T…we just thought it would be fun to have people over and be part of a global happening! Mellow out! I’m sure we can come up with some sort of compromise. We’ve got a week and a half yet, we can finish some of this before that & we’ll downscale from the original plan. But no matter what…R.E.M. is still invited!” Tebazilena knows how quickly things can escalate when B & E are planning for a party. It’s all fun & games until the panic to get ready begins. Cranky anxiety ensues until people start arriving. I’ve gotten better over the past year or two but the moodiness is still in the background when I’m trying to get everything ready. I have to go now and clean…or decorate, otherwise one of us will be doing her darndest to put a wrench in the party plans (for 4…or 40?).

Hello World…welcome to mine!

Posted on November 24, 2012 by Elizabeth

About Myself:
This is about my life. Everything in it is MY memories, beliefs, bizarro humor, traditions, dysfunctions, info I’ve gleaned from life and stuff I make up in my brain for my own amusement. I am who I am and this is how I view life.
I started this blog in my head (where my 3 personalities reside). I needed some place to list all the important stuff that I might’ve forgotten to tell my daughters while they were growing up. Then I thought, “You have so much brilliance in your brain; why not share it with everyone? That’s a brilliant idea just in itself!” I also have a husband. He takes me in stride (he gets to hear my brilliance daily) but I think he’s secretly jealous because I’m funnier than him.
About my 3 personalities:
Everyone has different sides to themselves; shy/outgoing, quiet/loud, happy/sad, etc. Well, I’ve named mine (a long story I’ll share at some point). There’s two dominant (Betsy & Elizabeth) and one very quiet, reflective one (Tebazilena) who keeps the other two in balance. They argue a lot in my head about any random and/or important topic that comes up. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s annoying…kind of resembles life.

Me~Myself & I

More fun than squirrels in your attic…

Category Archives: The 3 musketeers…spicier than the originals!