I’m leaving my lover

I started writing a blog post 2 weeks ago explaining the why’s and what-for’s and in the midst of it, Gary came over to see what was up ’cause I was crying. I quietly showed him the title of my post; he smiled knowingly and walked away. He knows well of my addiction to Facebook. He knows how hard this will be for me; I cry sometimes thinking about what I’ll be missing out on…probably a sure sign of an addiction. He’s going to be ecstatic; he’s getting his little woman back, like the old days.

And then in the midst of shutting down the computer for the night I didn’t save it. I think I should be happy because I was drinking scotch while I was writing and I was hormonal and emotional. One of those kinds of letters you’re happy you never ‘mailed’ because it sounds ridiculous when you’re back into a rational state of mind. And then I couldn’t get myself to write again. Procrastination, I excel at it.

I read different articles and humorous slams on the nonsensicalness of Facebook and it has merit but I also appreciate the intrinsic worth of it. I have a whole bevy of hysterically funny friends that I interact with. It’s like having my own comedy club. The laughter is extremely therapeutic. Yes, I’m on Facebook too much but my midlife crisis has been buffered nicely by the interactions from many old and some new friends. I will miss the people that I’ve reconnected with that I don’t see outside of Facebook.

I’ve used the excuse to prolong my leaving because I’m trying to win a VitaMix on one of my Liked sites although I’ve just realized I could probably still enter every day via the e-mail newsletter I get. Then Elizabeth reminded us all that our birthday is coming up and we really should stay on for the birthday wishes. “How rude would that be to leave before the well-wishes!” Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy getting cards in the mail but if I didn’t get any, my day/week would not be ruined. The only ones I expect recognition from actually live in the house with me and I’ve never been shy to plan my birthday events/gifts from my family. So that plan has been dashed, sorry Elizabeth.

There are so many reasons why I want to stay on Facebook but my life is turning a corner and I’m trying hard to get back to basics with my life. It’s become a driving necessity for me. There are days that what I need to do seems so crystal clear and then the list of things that feel safe, fun & comfortable pops up. And eventually I go back to knowing what I have to do…at least for now. I’m giving myself a year.

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